// portfolio
A to-do list that uses blockchain, AI, WebSockets, Kubernetes, and 47 microservices. It takes 12 minutes to boot up and requires a dedicated DevOps team. But once it's running, you can add a task in under 200 milliseconds. Currently seeking Series A funding.
This was supposed to be a simple sorting algorithm demo. But Wayne wrote it so efficiently that it sorted itself into a higher dimension, briefly creating a localized spacetime anomaly that caused Stack Overflow to return 503 errors for approximately 0.3 seconds. (Note: The Stack Overflow outage was probably unrelated.)
It's a 3-second setTimeout. But with WebSockets. A Redis cache. A Kubernetes cluster with auto-scaling. A CI/CD pipeline. A Slack integration. A dedicated team of 4 developers. And it still doesn't make the coffee. The board is very optimistic about Q3 deliverables.
Why squash bugs when you can farm them? A gamified bug tracker where you collect, breed, and trade bugs like Pokemon. Includes rare spawns: 'Heisenbug' (appears only when you're watching), 'Mandelbug' (the bug reproduces more bugs), and the legendary 'SmoreBug' (a marshmallow bug - completely unrelated to software).
A single button. When you click it, absolutely nothing happens. The code is pristine, well-documented, and has 100% test coverage. It's the most reliable thing Wayne has ever built, and he is deeply proud of it. Over 10,000 users have clicked it, and 100% of them were disappointed.
An AI that writes commit messages for the AI that writes your code. It generates messages like 'feat: improved something somewhere' and 'fix: fixed a thing that was broken (maybe)'. The AI's AI is currently training an AI to review its own code reviews. Wayne has created a bureaucracy of bots.